growing up

i ran way.

i ran away from home just to avoid my problems.

i never did something like this before. i never thought i would think of that. and i was taking the risk of probability getting failed in the examination since all i did at my aunt's house was eating, laughing and watching the screen with moving pictures and sounds.

to tell or not to tell. that is the question.

i hate to admit how pathetic i will look like if i tell them about it. i don't want them to see 'the weak najwa'. even though i used to cry a couple of times in front of them. but still.

since i promised myself starting from this semester that i will never cry because of the problems i have.

how pathetic people can be, when they go to you like you're an angel when you have something that they want, when they want you to do something that they can't do because they are too coward, when they want someone to eat with, to laugh with.

but they ran away from you, left you alone in the house when they want to do something that you aren't capable of, when you're not smart enough, and when you don't have anything that will attract them, like you're some kind of a disease.

when will they grow up? to be able to stop doing this.

when will I grow up? to be able to solve this.