Friday, December 24, 2010

yakusoku

istiqamah.

aku tak ada benda ni.

macam2 aku dah buat. susah betul nak dapat. sebab tu banyak perangai buruk yang masih tak berubah.

rasa malu. dengan tuhan. dengan malaikat yang tengah catit kiri kanan. eh tak. belah kiri je.

dan rasa malu dengan diri sendiri.

rasa macam nak kena rujuk dengan yang pakar. gila kronik bunyinya -_-".

24 disember/desember 2010 (aku selalu konfius dengan ejaan bulan 12 dalam BM).

apa hadiah yang aku bagi kali terakhir?

...

tak ada. cuma ucapan semata-mata. itu pun kira satu kemajuan. sebab sebelum ni sekadar ucapan dalam sms. tapi hari tu cakap dalam telefon.

...

dad, what do u want for this year's birthday?

me as a good person? i wish i can give u that.

but right now is quite impossible. because i just lost to satan just now.
yes. shame on me.

erm, ok. how about this dad.

this year, i want a wish instead. although it's your birthday.

i wish for u to always watching over me.
to remind me when i'm lost.
to give me strength when i'm giving up on life.
to forgive me, though i don't deserve to ask for it.
to wish me for every happiness. so that i can stop being an ass.

tanjoubi omedeto. it's unfortunate that u missed ur 56th birthday.

i wish nothing but peace for u in there. and i will, insyaALLAH, to not forget reciting yasin for u every friday. (but tonight cannot lah, girl's thing)

aitai.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

coming out of the closet


aku tak ada masalah dengan status seksual dia. because i believe dia tak memilih untuk jadi gay ever since he was born. and unfortunate for him sebab timbul perasaan macam tu dalam hati dia.

oke.

tapi aku ada masalah bila dia announce satu dunia. encik, kau tak fikir keluarga ke? selfish.


unless kau hidup sebatang kara. or family kau support confession kau kat skrin petak tu. then suka hati kau lah.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

kawan sampai mati.

haaaaahh..

esok final exam. tapi macam biasa buat rilek je haha.

anyway.

selalu kan, kalau aku usha2 profile orang ke, baca post kat blog dia ke, akan ada part yang cakap camni :

hi.
saya si polan si polan.
i'm a simple girl/boy. sometimes boring.
i don't like orang hipokrit, penipu, tak beriman, mulut bising, sombong, berfikiran sempit, suka tengok cerita adnan sempit blablabla.

hmm.. dulu aku pun pernah tulis benda2 alah ni. tapi bila pikir2 balik kan, bagus sangat ke kau tu sampai nak memilih2 orang ni. perfek sangat ke kau tu yang kau nak letak golongan2 yang kau sebut tu kat bawah kaki kau.

bagi aku la, perangai manusia ni berubah2. sekejap kau jadi baik, sekejap kau jadi setan.
sekejap iman kau naik mengalahkan imam muda, sekejap kau jadi tak ubah macam kutu langau tepi jalan.
so kalau kau dah dapat kawan yang kononnya ideal, yang tak termasuk dalam list2 kau tu, kau jamin ke yang he or she won't turn into one of those scums?
lepas tu bila dia jadi macam tu, kau nak putus kawan? sebab tak memenuhi syarat2 teman sejati kau?

murahnya istilah kawan tu kan.

orang kata kawan nak buat lepak, nak gelak2, berduyun2 datang. tapi bila kau dapat ujian daripada tuhan sikit je, semuanya lesap macam pelesit.

aku tak pernah argue about this, never even slightest i took it lightly. sebab aku tau benda ni betul. dah ketepek atas muka banyak kali dah. sebab tu aku tak pernah expect too much from anyone. aku kawan sama rata. tak ada yang kamcing gila2. sebab aku jenis yang cepat kecewa kalau pasal relationship. istilah backstabber tu dah lali aku dengar kat mana2.

tapi bukan la maksudnya aku tak percaya orang. i'm just trying to be careful. at least for now.

ramai orang tak boleh hidup tanpa kawan. betul ke? apa istilah kawan tu sebenarnya?

aku rasa majoriti orang perlukan teman. bukan kawan.

teman ialah someone yang kau perlu sentiasa ada untuk make sure kau tak jadi lone ranger. kau perlukan teman nak pergi tengok wayang. nak pergi makan. buat assignments. gosip. lepak. tidur lambak.

tapi kawan, tak semestinya perlu buat semua tu. dia tak perlu ada dekat dengan kau pun. dia hanya perlu dengar. share opinion. bagi nasihat.

eh, macam kaunselor je? aa..lebih kurang la kot.

so hakikatnya aku sendiri pun tak tau istilah sebenar kawan tu. setiap orang lain2 kot perception dia.

tapi bagi aku, kalau boleh jumpa kan, kalau aku layak kan, aku tak mintak lebih pun dari orang tu.

cukup kalau dia boleh sentiasa ingatkan aku yang hidup kat dunia ni sekejap je.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

cuba untuk berpijak di bumi yang nyata

what the hell happened the last 18 and a half years of my life?

Monday, November 15, 2010

jawapan standard



"Rebecca Nur Islam hanya nama yang diberi oleh ayah saya sejak dilahirkan"

"kenapa saya nak menutup aurat sedangkan itu bukan saya"

"alhamdulillah family saya support saya"

"mungkin satu hari nanti saya pakai tudung"

akak. baik tak payah bukak mulut. serious.

are we that ignorant?


dah tak mampu nak kutuk. cuma mintak Tuhan tak jadikan aku dan keturunanku macam mereka.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

sajak emo

tuding jari pada Tuhan

credit to cursingmalay

Ada orang kata,
Bila kita sakit,
Itu tanda Tuhan sayang,
Dia nak ingatkan kita.

Ada juga orang kata,
Bila negara kena timpa bala,
Tu tanda Tuhan sayang kat negara,
Mungkin dah lama sangat lupa dia.

Memang senang nak kata,
Bila ada bencana,
Ramai tunjuk jari kat Tuhan,
Kata tu semua Tuhan punya kuasa.

Tuhan punya kuasa,
Cipta dunia,cipta kita,
Serba serbi lengkap tercipta,
Tak ada benda yang tak sempurna.

Tuding jari kata Tuhan punya kerja,
Bagi turun bala,turun bencana,
Memanglah Tuhan bagi turun bala,
Kau ubah dunia Dia buat apa?

Sungai dah elok-elok ada,
Kau pusing ke arah lain,
Tanah dah elok ada,
Kau korek buat tasik.

Tuhan dah cipta dunia,
Lengkap sempurna,
Kau pegi ubah kenapa?
Sebab Tuhan ke kau ditimpa bala?

Kenapa tak tanya diri sendiri,
Habis tanah semua terokai,
Asalkan duit ke poket sendiri,
Bila banjir kata kuasa semulajadi.

Kepala hotak kau kuasa semulajadi.
Kau dah lupa Tuhan dah cipta dunia sempurna hakiki?
Semua benda mesti ada sebab terjadi,
Tak kisahlah banjir atau gunung berapi.

Semua benda kata bencana semulajadi,,
Apa yang semulajadi kalau air sungai tak berlalu pergi?
Tak malu ke kita manusia ciptaan,
Setiap masa,kena bencana,tuding jari,salahkan Tuhan?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

manusia gila

susah kalau niat baik dipersetankan.

pernah tak, bila kau nak tolong orang tu, niat kau baik, tapi kau pulak dianiaya.

orang tu buat salah, jadi kau nak betulkan dia. tapi yang silapnya cara kau salah. tapi tu sebab kau tak tau nak buat apa. duduk diam tak boleh. nak buat sesuatu pun dungu fikiran.

alih-alih kau berdepan dengan dia. orang lain pun masuk campur. tapi dia buat muka tak bersalah. dikatakan kau menuduh dia. memfitnah dia. tanpa sebarang bukti. ya, memang kau tak ada bukti. tapi kau yakin 100% dengan apa yang kau percaya. dan dia pun sebenarnya tak membuktikan yang kau tu salah. malah dia cuba putarbelitkan keadaan. menjadikan kau seorang yang sangat jahat di mata orang lain. dan dia, menangis menagih simpati. yang kononnya dia tak tahu apa-apa.

jadi dalam situasi itu, kau kalah. dia menang. di mata orang lain.
walaupun hakikatnya akhirat nanti kau menang. dia yang tanggung dosa.

hipokritnya manusia.

kepada engkau. ya, engkau. aku tau aku akan berdosa dengan apa yang aku akan cakap ni. dengan orang lain aku boleh nak consider, tapi dengan kau beb, adalah satu exception, yang mana :


AKU TAK AKAN MAAFKAN KAU SAMPAI AKHIRAT ATAS APA YANG KAU BUAT KAT AKU DAN KAWAN AKU. KERANA KAU MANUSIA YANG PALING DAJAL PERNAH AKU JUMPA.

dan "because i'm a good hacker" adalah statement paling gay pernah aku dengar.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

tak boleh tidur

YE SAYA DAH LAMA TAHU YANG SAYA SANGAT EGO.

so jangan hentam saya. tapi cuba ubah saya.

oke?

Saturday, October 16, 2010

RIDIC


kadang2 bila naik kereta ke, bas ke, aku selalu imagine what happen kalau kereta ni crash? it's like, i want that accident to happen. i want to experience how does it feels like. it may sounds crazy since i'm asking for death, tapi.. aa.. tu lah. i don't even know why. perhaps my life has been dull and boring lately so i want that kind of incident to happen, see whether it changes my life somehow.

o well, kalau dah accident then patah sana sini of course la life berubah kan. mati terus langsung la habis life tu.

p/s : may God bless the souls involved in 10.10.10 tragedy.

Monday, October 4, 2010

old school

suddenly teringat Aerosmith.




and Bon Jovi

Sunday, October 3, 2010

conspiracy


recently my friend asked me whether i know about illuminati. that topic has been around i dunno since when, tapi jadi hot topic especially bila TV3 raya commercial came out. oh and before that illuminati was mentioned to be related with Anugerah Juara Lagu, and even Hujan's frontman Noh. and then there's this thing about Lady Gaga sembah setan and etc. i mean yang tu kalau dia tak relate ngan illuminati pun aku macam percaya jugak..

i don't know much about illuminati, but i do know a lil bit about freemason, thanks to Mastika. on a side note, people kept bashing Mastika, or whoever that read one, but i think not all of the contents are nonsense. there are a lot of things in it yang we don't even know, well prolly because we are ignorant about world issue. if it's not because of Mastika, i didn't even know about Mona Fandey, Idi Amin, and Freemason.


i'm not saying that i don't believe in all the theories surrounding it, i just, don't bother so much to actually debate about it in blogs or newspaper. perhaps it's true, but what annoys me the most is that people give so much attention to this matter, where in fact benda2 yang dah terang tang tang salah and 'against' humanity tak pulak nak dilaung, dijerit, diadilkan. issue racism yang dah berkulat tu tak ada pulak approach from gov. kalau setakat 1malaysia tu nenek aku pun boleh buat proposal.

we are all actually a hypocrite, even myself. we said we're not racist, we condemned racism, tapi bila ada orang buat salah sikit, first thing yang we mentioned would be their race. even among us, berapa kerat je member from outside our race that we have. when i said member, i meant real bestie punya. bukan classmate. bukan neighbor. bukan lecturer. bukan someone we know.


i think one of the ways yang gov boleh consider, is that kita wajibkan (kot) for all students to learn other's language. i mean, now all people tahu at least speak malay and english. but what about chinese and tamil? kadang2 aku rasa agak suspicious bila dengar other chinese/indian spoke in their language in front of me. bukan la aku nak kata diorang tak ada kerja lain nak kutuk2, tapi..aa..pokoknya macam tu lah. paham la kan.

erm, ape ni. nak cakap pasal illuminati tapi melencong kat racism pulak.

illuminati. entah. baca la sendiri. aku pun malas nak selidik. GIT pun tak habis baca lagi ini pulak nak kaji benda alah ni.

oh anyway i found this in salafus solih punya blog. best la jugak blog dia. bila baca banyak yang ketepek kat atas dahi. theory ni agak menarik. nak percaya ke tak tu.. up to u lah.



Saturday, October 2, 2010

EPIK HIGH

despite all the bad news surrounding Tablo, i still WORSHIP their music. who cares if he didn't go to Stanford like he claimed? so he's a con. so what. that doesn't change the fact that he wrote the lyrics, composed the music, and even spoke perfect english when he got interviewed by CNN. CNN for god sake.

people are jealous of him too much. and Mithra and Tukutz are not there by his side just when he needed them the most. and honestly i won't be that surprised if Tablo commit suicide. not that i want it to happen, but with all the pressure on him and his family, even Einstein will be depressed.

some of EPIK HIGH's songs from their latest album Epilogue.

Over

You are an overacheiver, do what it takes till it takes ev
erything you are.
Want a break from the world but the world wanna break you.
The weight makes your backbone curl up a
nd ache you.

[Tablo's Verse]
Got so much to prove, hopin' they approve. The only thing that's true is all you ever do is do. You're movin' shoe to shoe but you're not goin'. You stop growin' the moment that you stay at the top. The only way is to drop, free-fallin down the st
airs that you climbed up, lined up to freely mount the air.

But you dare not airdrop, tied up like a hair
knot, hikin' down without a chance of steppin' on a fair rock. And so, you stand still in a standstill. Hands still buildin' castles on a sandhill. 'Man, chill...' is what your friends say, but you're not hearin' what little men say. Anyway. Keep on goin' and taste the stars. Keep on growin' and raise the bar. You're livin' life for the A's down to the Z's. After the hill, you've got a mountain to seize.

Who can tell? Your living is an organized he
ll. The mansion of your mind, just an oversized cell. The pressure... everything is done to a measure. In the sea of competition sunk like a treasure. Like a feather fallin' slow spralin' to the floor. Strung up like a broken violin to your course. Opportunity is knockin' at your door but you never left a welcome mat. It doesn't matter anymore. Or anyhow, but you're too late to turn back. Fate pushin' you into the wall like a thumbtack. Ain't no comebacks in this game of life. Roll the dice again. Roll it once, never twice. Keep on goin' and taste the stars. Keep on growin' and raise the bar. You're livin' life for the A's down to the Z's. After one drop, you've got a fountain to seize.

RUN


Run, run, run away....
Run, run, run away....
Run, run, run away....
No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it).
Run, run, runaway.
If I look back while running (You’re still there).

[Mithra's Verse]

It's pitch dark.
The world moves on too fast.
I’m the only one who’s limping on both legs.
The path I must walk is endless.
What’s at the end of this path?
Are you going there knowing about it?
Will I learn the answers if I go there with my eyes closed?
The sky that never responds to a such question.
The two arms tied up by daily life are too heavy to embrace dreams.
I'm scared, I've been abandoned locked away.Just for today run somewhere like your crazy.


[Bridge]

Run till you can touch the sky with your hands.
Run till your heart is filled with your dreams.

Everybody run, run, run away…
No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it).
Everybody run, run, runaway…
If I look back while running (You’re still there).


You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.
Away...

No matter how much I run, I’m still on the same spot.


[Tablo's Verse]

My life is a rainy night that rains 365 days.
A heart that gets smaller every 24 hours.
I even hid the small comma and its tail,then the future that awaits me becomes a period...
Carry the new day on your shoulder and run.
What am I running towards?
Whether if the sun’s setting or I if I’m losing…
I don’t know.
But I go.
Keep on runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ high.
I'm the young star that has been abandoned by the galaxy.



[Bridge]

Run till you can touch the sky with your hands.
Run till your heart is filled with your dreams.

Everybody run, run, run away…No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it).
Everybody run, run, runaway…
If I look back while running (You’re still there).

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.
Away...

No matter how much I run, I’m still on the same spot.


You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.
Down, down, down.

You got me runnin' runnin' runnin' around.Down, down, down.
Away...

For you, who’s running endlessly.


p/s:
so k-netizens, you're telling that he didn't wrote these too?

Tablo : I DID GO TO STANFORD BITCHESSSSSSS

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

jpop mania

Aizdean just released new single,”I Need You Baby / ONE”.

To people who didnt know Aizdeen. Aizdeen is the first Malaysian to become Jpop singer in Japan!

  • Name: Aizdean
  • Birthday: February 13
  • Birthplace: Malaysia
  • Blood Type: O

Album

  • [2010.03.03] Hadiah ~The First Step~

Singles

  • [2009.07.07] I Need You Baby/ONE
  • [2009.08.31] I Need You Baby A Cry Out of The Soul
  • [2009.12.16] Don’t Go Away/Yell Won’t Let You Go?








gila kool en? his voice is ok, but the thing is he got guts. i mean, who are we kidding? japan has a huge market. took quite a hard work for someone to fit in those society. let alone be in their music industry. he may not be as huge as gackt, or hyde, or even morning musume. but this guy proved that you don't need a cute face, hot chocolate abs, or even reality show like AF, malaysian idol or whatsoever to be this huge. hard work is not enough. you need guts. and faith.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

B2ST











aku : bella, ni baru B2ST. kalau Big Bang??
bella : .....
aku : TOP!!!!!!!!
bella : T_T

Monday, June 28, 2010

fanservice

if u don't fall for this, then u are...erm..i dunno what to call u lah.

but it's certainly ridiculous if u think THIS IS NOT CUTE DEMMIT waaaaahhh

Saturday, June 26, 2010

WTF moment

tangan menggeletar. hati berdebar. panas.

sebab apa? bengang. nak marah. tak puas hati.

kau dah busted dah. segala rahsia dah pecah.
tapi berlagak macam almighty gila.
macam you own the world.
macam.. ahh.. bodoh rasanya.

aku rasa sangat frust sebab tak boleh find solution pasal masalah tu. aku nak jaga aib orang tu, but at the same time aku tak nak orang ni dibutakan.

susah kan. niat yang baik diperlekehkan. disampahkan.

kau. boleh blah.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

one ok rock

new craze~

ONE OK ROCK <--- nama tak boleh lagi pelik ke?



prof parodies



terbaek :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

XXY

check out this guy.

Nick Pitera



Saturday, June 12, 2010

complete package

pretty.
tall.
s-line figure.
mad dancing skill.
humble.
bubbly.
killer voice.
badazz rapper.
beyonce. =p









Kahi unnie saranghae <3

Monday, June 7, 2010

badazzz

O MAH GAADDD

i can't help but the hid my face with the shirt and tried hard not to listen to what he said because it's too AWKWARD...............





rain :

they told me i was nominated for the BADAZZZ star.

*ready for awkward moment*

yeah, i've been working out.


...


waddehell???


we still love ya rain.
just, try not to open your mouth. just stand there and look good.
yeah. that's all you gotta do.
okie? ^_^

this is what happened when there's too much to handle




* click on the picas untuk tatapan yang sangaaaaaatt memuaskan. :D

Saturday, June 5, 2010

rally



2:15 DSAI : JANGAN TOLAK SAYA!

kekeke

and also at 3:07 some random reporter : Datuk please speak louder!

haha. tergelak je.

nasib baik aku tak pergi. asalnya plan nak pergi. konon2 nak la experience macam ni.
but looking at the footage, man, aku rasa awal2 lagi aku dah pengsan kat tengah jalan kekurangan oksigen. tapi nampak best gila. serious. semangaaatt!!! hehe.


tapi aku tak suka bila benda ni dipolitikkan. cuba balik kepada niat asal.

nak tolong umat palestin kan? so stick to that.

Park Bom the chubby bunny who likes bread and corn =p

and she's too underrated :(










Friday, May 14, 2010

jigsaw

manusia cepat melatah.
cepat melenting.
cepat menuduh.
cepat mencarut.

tak pernah nak fikir dulu.
kenapa.
bagaimana.
bila.
siapa.


pengajaran untuk aku jugak.


*****************


cerita 1

pihak atasan kolej aku decide nak turunkan pointer admission to MBBS from 3.2 to 3.0. batch sebelum kitorang 3.0. so basically we're like some kind of bahan eksperimen. i have no idea why they decided to do that. yang aku tahu batch junior banyak tak lepas 3.0.


first thing in my mind, whoever made that decision sangat unfair. imagine most of my previous batchmates who had to repeat and paid thousands of money just to reach 3.2. and bila dah repeat, still tak lepas, ada ngam2 3.19, had to go to other university like egypt, indon, etc. so knowing about the news, siapa tak melenting? menuduh? mencarut?

manusia.

on the other side,


....



*diam* (kering idea nak backup guna modal apa)



on the other side, mungkin la ada hikmahnya mereka buat macam tu. maybe there's a catch in it. like, dia buat syllabus baru yang lagi susah daripada yang sedia ada susah ni. and maybe the exam is going to be extremely difficult. so, yeah who knows kan.

cerita 2

nama yang selalu keluar paper lately.
aminulrasyid.


oh, tak. bukan selebriti. orang biasa.
macam aku.macam kau.

arwah naik kereta tanpa lesen, noted umur 15 tahun. terlanggar kereta orang. takut. cabut. geng bike kejar. terlanggar kereta. selamat. terpintas kereta polis. siren naik. insiden kejar-mengejar. polis tembak. kena tayar. polis tembak. kena kepala. mati. rakan sebelah keluar daripada kereta. diterajang polis. kawan lari. polis buat statement. arwah penyamun. penjenayah. masyarakat tak puas hati. bangkang polis. kutuk. hina. cemuh. polis tak mengaku bersalah. refused to apologize.

manusia.

oke. mana satu yang kau nak dengar?

polis babi ar!! ade ke patot gi tembak sesuke hati?? die budak lagi tuu. mesti la die takot bile langgar keta orang. yang polis nak tembak membabi buta ape kes?? die bukannye pegang senjata. bukannya nak cederakan orang lain. budak tu baik..kesian siott...

atau,

korang ni..pikir ar..dah budak tu dalam keadaan mencurigakan..mesti la polis tu kejar..dah tu dalam keadaan panik, mesti la tak ley pokes, walopon dah trained, nak tunggu tembak kaki memang tak ar kan dah budak tu duk lam keta. sat gi kang tetibe gi langgar nenek ke, rempuh shopping mall sampai jatuh eskalator tingkat bawah hempap orang, then baru nak tembak?

i have no say in it. you be the judge. you're human. not a pig. you can differentiate between good and bad. rice and mee. arch of aorta and thoracic aorta. no?

cerita 3

fairuzizuan menunjukkan prestasi permainan yang sangat dull. "penyokong" marah. bengang maki hamun. fairuzizuan felt disturbed but held in. one of the "penyokong" provoked him. fairuzizuan naik hantu. meluru ke arah penonton. penonton + "penyokong" boo.

manusia.

the difference between orang kita dan orang lain :

orang lain : bila pemain tengah beraksi, orang lain diam. fokus. bila pemain menang, baru orang lain sorak. bila pemain kalah, orang lain frust, tapi keep it cool and tepuk tangan, because the player had done their best.

orang kita : bila pemain menang, orang kita sorak gila-gila. arak satu kampung, bagi duit beratus ribu, bagi pangkat datuk, opah, moyang segala. bila pemain kalah, REJAM.


kesimpulannya :

jadi manusia ni penat.

nak jadi gomu ningen (budak getah) la pulak. macam Luffy <3

p/s : ningen ha yokubukaku, nani mo gisei ni sezu ni, atae mo shinai kuseni, hitsuyou ijou ni hojigaru

Sunday, April 18, 2010

jangan lupa lirik!











GOMEN!!

hahaha comel :)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

al-asr

sekarang tengah cuba nak :

  • banyakkan spend time untuk study.
  • kurangkan bergosip/dengar gosip/ digosip.
  • kurangkan perasaan benci. marah.
  • banyakbanyakbanyakbanyakkan makan sayur+jogging.
  • potong masa untuk internet.
  • seeeeenyuuuuuummmmm.
  • berjimatcermat.
  • sabar. sabar. sabar.
  • baca quran banyak2 kali.
  • ikhlas in whatever i'm doing.
  • maafkan mereka. maafkan diri sendiri.
  • jadi orang baik.

sebab masa aku dah tak banyak.





























......































masa kau pun, kan?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

racist much?

IBRAHIM ALI THE SHIT TALKER



bloody crap man. this guy is effing douchebag. how can he talk shit like that. i never felt so embarrassed like this for being a malay. n yeah this is the kind of thing that you'll never get to see in utusan melayu, berita harian, buletin utama, metro, blablabla because in the end you'll end up in ISA. scumbag. and now you can sue me because i'll be charged with having some humanity and a clear state of mind. unlike these morons.

credit : cursingmalay.blogspot.com

Sunday, March 21, 2010

suju

da lama gileee tak post. malas. haha.

kadang2 rasa macam nak delete je blog ni.
kesian. terbiar.

anyway.

few updates :

  • hari tu beli tiket Super Junior Super Show. i'm not really into them, just nak teman member. then suddenly rasa tak nak pergi, so aku jual la tiket tu. konsert tu semalam. jealous pun ada jugak. tapi aku demam. so maybe tuhan nak bagi hikmah kat situ la kan. lagipun next week exam. bagus la aku tak pergi.
  • we're in endocrine system block. sangat best. serious. first time (after behavioural science) aku rasa betul2 enjoy belajar. thanks to prof hamdan :D
  • next week cuti. nak baliiiiiiiiikkkkk. sangat sangat sangat lama aku tak balik. raya cina hari tu pun aku tak balik. aku rindu katil je. hehe.
  • tengah berusaha nak kurangkan perkara2 yang tak baik.
  • tengah berusaha untuk tidak jadi hipokrit. susah gila kan?
  • .........

Sunday, February 28, 2010

m gonna study hard after this

omaigod.

semalam mimpi ayah.

like seriously shit.

dah seminggu aku tak mimpi apa2. then yesterday i went jogging. then teringat pasal exam. i was scared. scared i'm gonna have to repeat. then i'll disappoint him. so last night aku study. i slept at 11 something. sebab nak bangun awal esok. bila bangun pukul 5 pagi, aku study sampai pukul 7, then i felt sleepy (blame the hot milo for it). so i went to bed, kunci jam pukul 7.30. sepanjang half an hour that i slept tulah, aku mimpi.

i was in this office, tak tahu la office apa kan. suddenly i saw a man walking towards me. belakang dia cerah, so aku tak nampak muka dia. bila makin dekat, i was like, shit. that's my dad. gila terkejut. dia pegang tangan aku nak salam, it's the salam yang perempuan buat dengan perempuan tu, you know. yang cium pipi thingy. then when u do that your bahu will tersentuh kan? so when he was trying to do that, time bahu nak tersentuh tu tiba2 he let go of my hand and walked away. i was like, HUH?

then he entered this room yang ada family aku. i thought diorang tak nampak dia. but he went to my sister and did the same thing; took her hand, trying to salam but when the shoulders nak met he stopped and went to my other sister. and i was convinced that they all saw him, but they didn't say anything.

and no. he didn't wear any white shirt with the kopiah and all. it's just a plain kemeja. the one yang warna hijau biru, the one that i recognized since he always wore that whenever there's a ceremony.

then i woke up. i stared to the ceiling. and i thanked God. i'm not sure whether i should be happy or not about this, since i couldn't figure out the meaning of the whole salam thingy. because it's so weird and awkward.

i'm just guessing though but i think he's trying to say that

HE'LL KILL ME IF I FAIL THE EXAM.

kot.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

benci

lately selalu teringat ayah.

bila nak tidur.

bila tengah gelak2.

bila fail exam.

bila cakap pasal ayah orang lain.

bila teringat rumah.

bila dengar lagu p ramlee.

bila tengok kereta volvo.

lepas tu nangis. menyesal. tak sudah2.

ya. aku tahu. yang dah lepas tu lepas. orang mati tak hidup balik.

aku tahu.

maybe habit kot. suka teringat orang yang dah tak ada.

masa hidup dulu tak pernah pun nak appreciate.

rasa macam nak pergi somewhere. jauh. sorang2. nak muhasabah diri.

hate this.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

#1 : my thoughts on..

Go Mi Nam - You're Beautiful

PENGKID


i'm not trying to support this kind of behavior whatsoever, but here's the thing : pengkid is much cooler and hotter than most of the guys out there. last saturday i went to sg wang. there were lotsa people, mostly chinese since 1)that's their number 1 place to hang out. and 2) it's almost chinese new year lorh, what more can u expect kan?

so anyway, i went to this baju area, and my friend was attracted to this sweater in the kedai la. so she asked for the owner. then came a slender, spiky hair, white skin with round eyes guy. i said to my friend, "dude, he's hot." my friend pun agree with me la kan. the guy took the sweater, wrapped it then gave it to my friend. when my friend asked how much was it, dia kata "30 saja maa.." with a neutral voice, as in not so girly and not so manly.

but after that, there's this girl came and peluk2 that guy, speaking chinese but i understood a bit la kan. saying things yang menunjukkan he's a girl. and i was like, "it's a SHE? FOR REAL?!"

*sigh*Go Eun Chan - Coffee Prince

but seriously. aku suka tengok pengkid. ok, that may sounded so wrong, but hey, if he(i mean she) is freaking gorgeous and hot then why not kan? i think pengkid ni tergolong dalam kalangan pondan. girls like to be friends with pondan@si lembut because mereka sangat memahami hati perempuan(like, DUH..). but we'll never consider or look at them as a guy. the same thing with pengkid. where most of us, well, i don't think most of us la kan since girls yang straight kemungkinan takut nak dekat dengan golongan pengkid ni. but some girls yang like to be friends with pengkid tu sebab pengkid berjiwa lelaki (again, like, DUH..). so apa2 hal senang cerita la maknanya.

but up until today, i never had a pengkid among my friends. tomboy tu ada la, si lembut pun ada. tapi nyah belum lagi. tapi serious, most of the pengkid are gorgeous, as in cool gila.

p/s : and hell yeah, Amber FTW!

Amber - f(x)

Amber with Yuri. i think Amber is hotter :D

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

death list

suddenly thought of this while 'reading' microbiology notes.

IN CASE IF I DIE :

- my password for emails is m**********. (it's in my phone, go get it)
- my password for laptop is taeyang.
- please don't delete the songs, videos and pictures in my laptop and cellphone because i love them to death. yes. TO DEATH.
- please don't throw away my cds. i earned them susah nak mati ouh -_-".
- you can throw my clothes. or wait, no. BURN THEM.
- now that you know my password, tell all my friends in facebook, friendster and ym about my death. and that i'm sorry. whatever the reason is.
- if you have time, sedekahkan al-fatihah/yassin for me. i would sincerely appreciate that.
- i love ********. there, i've said it. (it's not in my phone.HA-HA)
- to kak nanie : i'm sorry i was being such a jerk.
- and lastly, please forgive my mistakes and attitude. i can't help being such an asshole sometimes.

meleis

actually aku dah penat nak cakap pasal ni.

kenapa kan, manusia sekarang suka menunjuk2 yang dia ada secret. especially secret yang dia tak nak kamu tahu. dah namanya secret kan, yang kau make it so obvious tu kenapa? aku manusia. normal. aku ada curiosity. mestilah aku tertanya2, nak tahu apa secret tu. bukan la aku ni busy body, tapi aku tak suka dibiar tergantung. tak paham. terpinga2. so lain kali if you have something that you don't want to tell me, don't show it. ini nampak macam lagi samdol ada la.

huh. emo2. dah lama tak emo.

tadi tengok ju-on. sengal. tak takut tu satu hal. kelakar pulak dah hantu dia. storyline memang confuse, standard cerita jepun la kan. the ghosts are like, hurm, i dunno la. maybe sebab dah banyak cerita ju-on yang aku tengok, so aku dah immune dengan hantu2 dia.

lately sangat addicted dengan obefiend. suka troll the meleis. bagus2. to be honest i used to be one of this meleis. tapi lepas baca blog dia, terus tukar status. upgrade sikit. hehe. kool la obe. :D

ok. microbiology is waiting. as usual. and crap. haven't read anything for tomorrow's lab. -_-"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

K-Rock

k-rock. tak ada beza sangat pun dengan k-pop. except yang diorang in a band, playing instrument. tapi tak rock pun. but ok la kalau nak layan.


TRAX




CN BLUE

Sunday, January 17, 2010

bajet

susahnya orang ber'bajet' ni.

bajet bagus.
bajet cun.
bajet terer.
bajet kaya.
bajet kurus.
bajet diri gemuk walaupun skeding macam papan. anorexic. sick.

orang bajet sangat boleh bond dengan orang sama perangai dengan dia.
gila terbaeeeek.

mana2 aku pergi ada je orang bajet. it's like i am destined to live with them.

o lord, jauhkan aku daripada manusia2 bajet ini.
amin.

Friday, January 8, 2010

conflict

hari ni aku nak cakap pasal konflik.

aku dan microbes.

first day for microbes block : sangat stress. too much to handle. i like the workbook. seriously. aku suka buat exercises dalam tu. tapi aku tak suka hantar. leceh. aku buat kerja pun tak ikhlas. tak termasuk lagi dengan MCQ, mind map, scl. yang ni kene submit esok, yang tu kena pass up next week. ugh, tak ada yang lagi sistematik ke? i don't hate the lecturer. i never will. after all she's my mentor. but i wish she could be more.. em.. considerate?

aku dan manusia sosial.

sejak masuk cucms ni macam2 jenis mamalia aku jumpa. singa, gajah, badak, musang, biawak. macam zoo. setiap mamalia tu macam2 perangai. ada yang lidah bercabang, muka tembok, otak tembus, muka setengah masak tapi bajet cun, dan seumpamanya. and sometimes aku pun termasuk golongan2 itu (sometimes je ok). contoh paling senang:

case 1 : si manis.

jenab merupakan wanita yang diidami oleh 98.9% jejaka single mahupun mereka yang muka macam bapak orang. di kampungnya, dia dikenali dengan perangainya yang lemah lembut, sopan santun, bijak pandai, dan senyuman yang semanis aspartame. tapi hakikatnya, di luar dia tidak ada bezanya dengan minah2 kota pada waktu malam.

case 2 : si alim.

maimon terkenal dengan sifat alimnya. dia tidak pernah meninggalkan rumah tanpa baju yang menutup aurat, lengkap bertudung labuh ke lutut dan sarung kaki serta.. er.. ape tu.. handsock? tapi perangai : *sigh. minah clubbing pun tak ada sampai 3, 4 boyfriend dalam satu masa. erm, kes ni lebih kurang dengan case 1. bezanya case 1 minah tu lagi lawa, dan tak alim. dan minah tu ada 2 boyfriend je.

case 3 : si talam 2 muka.

among her friends, combi sangat baik. senyum tak pernah lekang, bijak, dan peramah. tapi bila balik rumah, perangai berpusing 360 darjah. totally opposite. pikir pasal diri : study, got A, then study, got A again. hal rumah? lain la kalau kau bawak orang gaji kan. tak kisahla dia tolong kemas. eish!!!

*disebabkan case 3 ni agak emo, so tak boleh continue. nanti TERbagitau cerita sebenar.


aku dan okaa-san.

aku jarang call mak aku. sebabnya aku tak tahu nak cakap apa. tiap2 kali dia call dia akan tanya benda yang sama, and jawapan aku pun sama. tak sampai seminit dah hang up.

aku dan cousin.

aku sendiri pun tak faham apa masalah antara kami.almost everyday jumpa tapi masing2 ego tak nak speak up. sampai bila nak jadi macam ni pun aku tak tahu.

aku dan aku.

kadang2 aku tak faham apa yang aku nak. aku rasa aku dah ada semua. tapi still lacking somewhere. and i don't know what that is. aku kata kat orang aku nak jadi psychiatrist. betul ke? or sebab aku tak minat jadik doktor bidang2 lain sebab melibatkan science, teknologi, bla bla bla..
yes, i took medical and yet i'm not interested in science. see? that's my conflict.


ok actually ada banyak lagi nak cerita tapi malas nak taip. sejak masuk alam microbes ni segala benda dah buat aku jadi malas.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

new year's resolution

3rd day of 2010.

2010.

feels weird + awkward even when u type it.

anyway.

what happened in 2009?

  • i got my driving license. but up until now i only drove a car 2 times...screw those people who don't trust me in handling cars.
  • 1st year medic. hella tough one.
  • i can count how many times i got angry... meaning i can control my temper kays..
  • i lost my dad.
  • i ATE VEGETABLES. yes people. VEGETABLES.
  • i lost yasmin ahmad.
  • my auntie still not getting married.
  • still haven't change my glasses. shoot..
  • read quran more often.
  • gossip girl. says who?
  • bought so many big bang cds.
  • decided to become a psychiatrist.
  • started jogging. HAH!
let's hope for a better year in 2010. new year's resolution? eat less. sleep less. play less. talk less. smile less. hate less. like less. yaoi less. everything is less.