Sunday, September 21, 2008

empty - part 1

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

i had this conversation with my friend just now:

"have you ever felt empty in your life?"


"i have this kind of feeling lately."

"maybe u haven't found a real best friend yet."


when i felt the emptiness in me, i thought really hard about it. lately, i always went for a walk at midnight, searching for something that i didn't even know. i didn't care about the dangers of walking alone in the middle of the night in a place that doesn't reflect your country, since there were so many foreigners and indonesians mostly. i stopped at the playground not very far from my house, sat on the swing and stared to the sky. IT'S EMPTY. there's not even a single star appeared. i didn't know why suddenly i felt i wanna cry. but i couldn't. coz my heart was so empty that i wasn't able to express my feelings.

one of the things that i asked from God in my prayer is to have a REAL best friend. i prayed so hard that i ended up crying in the end. but now, i don't know if i still have the same courage like i used to have. it's not that i have lost faith in You. The Almighty God. but to be in this situation has made me weaker. i'm lost in a world that i put a lot of trusts, a lote of hopes and a lot of dreams. where can i finally see a star in my place? where can i find a big shady tree to put all the stress away? Ya Allah, sesungguhnya hambaMu ini sangat lemah. Aku tidak mampu melawan takdirMu. Jika inilah ketentuanMu untukku, aku terima qada' dan qadarMu.


  1. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

  2. just think about it,
    it is not only a sentences but with deep meaning