yakusoku

istiqamah.

aku tak ada benda ni.

macam2 aku dah buat. susah betul nak dapat. sebab tu banyak perangai buruk yang masih tak berubah.

rasa malu. dengan tuhan. dengan malaikat yang tengah catit kiri kanan. eh tak. belah kiri je.

dan rasa malu dengan diri sendiri.

rasa macam nak kena rujuk dengan yang pakar. gila kronik bunyinya -_-".

24 disember/desember 2010 (aku selalu konfius dengan ejaan bulan 12 dalam BM).

apa hadiah yang aku bagi kali terakhir?

...

tak ada. cuma ucapan semata-mata. itu pun kira satu kemajuan. sebab sebelum ni sekadar ucapan dalam sms. tapi hari tu cakap dalam telefon.

...

dad, what do u want for this year's birthday?

me as a good person? i wish i can give u that.

but right now is quite impossible. because i just lost to satan just now.
yes. shame on me.

erm, ok. how about this dad.

this year, i want a wish instead. although it's your birthday.

i wish for u to always watching over me.
to remind me when i'm lost.
to give me strength when i'm giving up on life.
to forgive me, though i don't deserve to ask for it.
to wish me for every happiness. so that i can stop being an ass.

tanjoubi omedeto. it's unfortunate that u missed ur 56th birthday.

i wish nothing but peace for u in there. and i will, insyaALLAH, to not forget reciting yasin for u every friday. (but tonight cannot lah, girl's thing)

aitai.